Happy Birthday, Daddy

Tomorrow (well, almost today) would have been my Dad's birthday.  He was born 75 years ago.  He went to live with Jesus in November, 2001. 

i'm not sure a day has gone by since then that i haven't thought about him....wondered what his life is like.  i know that this world pales in comparison, but i can't help thinking sometimes that he would have loved this life for a little while longer.  He would have been so proud of my son...and so grateful for Ashley.  At Hannah & Dave's wedding, he would surely have embarrassed his first-born grandchild with his superlative-laden approval --- insisting that she was "the most beautiful bride ever born" :).  And Dave is a man after Daddy's own heart.  Sigh.

i've been thinking today that there are alot of things that i don't understand about this life. 

i really don't understand why the Lord heals some people and withholds His healing from others.
       i don't understand His "prospering" of one population, while another starves.
             i don't understand the mercy of the Lord extended to people who deny Him.
                        Even more so, people who claim to know Him yet trample on His holiness.

i don't understand broken vows, and broken marriages and broken homes.
       i don't understand how it's possible for children to be illiterate.
             i don't understand the hatred that fuels violence.
                        i don't understand death.  It leaves people lonely.  And empty.

"...when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task, until I went into the sanctuary of God...Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you...."

Psalm 73.  So grateful for "the sanctuary of God"....the actual physical sanctuary.  The Living presence of Almighty God who speaks truth to me in spite of my circumstances and emotion. 

Here's what i know is true...in the context of what i don't understand.

God is faithful and just.
      His love is steadfast.
             His mercies are new every morning.
                   He is good.
                         He is wise.
                             He is perfect.
                                  He loves me with an everlasting love.
                                         He loves my dad.  And my mom.
                                               And my brothers & sisters...
                                        
As i was teaching a workshop last week, i was reminded that people who work with Alzheimer's patients are often called "Memory Loss Assistants"...it's their job to rehearse the names of important people, dates, and significant life moments for their patients to exercise their ability to remember. 

That's what worship was for me today.  A "memory loss assistant".  i needed a reminder.  A much-needed nudge in the direction of the Truth. 
                                 
"...my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever..."

Sometimes you have to cling to what you know is true.  Even if you are hanging on by your fingernails.

Happy Birthday, Daddy. i miss you.
         But i'm confident that God's plan for our family is intact.
               He has not forgotten us.
                 
Thank you, Father, for the reminder.  i needed that. 
     


   

The fragrance of my soul

In her book Tender Mercies for a Mother's Soul, Angela Guffey remarks:  "We are designed to function poorly, to feel overwhelmed and alone apart from our relationship with Jesus.  We are made to be lost without God...most of the time, my spirit is the fragrance of my soul --- the indicator of how things are going ... My spirit always tells the truth.  When i am anxious or nervous, i know that my soul needs attention.  When i am bitter or resentful, the truth is that my soul is empty.  When i am overcome with self-pity and doubt, my heart is really screaming for intimacy with my Savior."

Thank you, Angela.

It's the punch line to our story.

Jesus comes to Martha's house.
        While He is teaching, she is slaving away in the kitchen,
                  "distracted by things that had to be done." 
                             (If you think i'm being sarcastic, you've missed a few blogs...
                                        you might want to back up.)

Meanwhile, her sister sits at the feet of the Savior, soaking in His presence and His teaching.

When Martha reaches the end of her rope,
         she unloads on Jesus and demands that He get her some help ---
                   preferably from her o-so-content sister.

i am on the tail end of one of the busiest seasons i've had in a very long time.  One evening, after a particularly long day, i got into my car at 9:30ish and it was all i could do not to cry.  i wasn't sad, or angry, or discouraged.  i was just so tired... and it seemed like the only thing to do.

i'm thinking Martha felt that way too.  And Jesus knew how tired she was.  He knew how hard she had worked.  He knew that she was doing her best to honor Him and provide for their friends.  It's why i love this story.  He didn't yell at her.  He didn't compare her to "the good sister".  He didn't really even tell her what to do.

He looked into her soul (think Psalm 139:23-25) and saw just what Angela described.  Her anxiety, bitterness, resentment and self-pity overflowed from the emptiness of her soul.  Jesus knew that her demanding outburst really reflected a heart screaming for intimacy with Him. 

And so He offered her an invitation.
             "Only one thing is needed."  
                        Seriously?  (i respond in my sanctified imagination to Jesus' remark.)
                              Yes, Susan.  (He patiently and tenderly responds.)
                                    Only one thing. 
                                           One.

i hear it, and i sigh with hope and expectation.  What is the "one thing"?  Time?  Energy?  Courage?  A sister who carries her own weight?  Not exactly.

"Mary has chosen what is better..." 

And there it is.  The infamous statement that has become the mantra that separates the "busy women" from the "spiritual ones".  Only i suspect we've misinterpreted Jesus' meaning. 

Jesus looks Martha in the eye and says (i'm paraphrasing):  "You want me to help you?  Great.  Join your sister and have a seat." 

And this is Martha's dilemma.  Mine too.  Most days, i'd love to have a seat.  i'd love to set the list aside.  Prioritize my day and choose to "sit with Jesus".  Like Mary.  But i just don't think it's as simple as that.  Something tells me that's not what Jesus meant.

At the risk of repeating myself, Jesus did not say to Martha "Stop being busy".  "Stop preparing dinner."  He said Mary's choice was better.  That sitting at His feet and listening to His teaching was better than being distracted by the list and the pressure.  He said that to sit and listen was better than being worried and anxious about many things. 

Considering Jesus' comment in the context of all of Scripture is helpful here.  Over and over and over again as people met Jesus, they fell at His feet.  In worship.*  Mary's position at Jesus' feet is not just a coincidence of the seating arrangement.  She chooses to be there because she wants to worship Him.  She adores Him.  And her position gives her heart away.

Mary's nearness to Jesus is the picture, the illustration, of what He longs for for Martha.
           It's not the sitting that is better.
                      It's the worship.

The one thing needed, intimacy with Jesus, is found in the posture of Mary's soul....This is Jesus' invitation to Martha.  To engage her heart with His in devotion.

Such a posture can be enjoyed literally at His feet, as this photograph so beautifully illustrates.  But intimacy with the Savior is not limited by location.  Jesus' engraved invitation might have read something like this:

Martha, Martha

You are cordially invited

to the one thing needed.

Worship Me.

At any time.

In any place.

...in the kitchen.
   ...Or in the living room.
      ...Or in the office.
         ....Or in the van.
             ...Or in the gym.
                ...Or in the darkness of a parking lot after a very long day, at 9:30 at night.

It isn't about physical proximity. It's about a heart screaming for intimacy with the Savior. And He isn't limited by location.

Can i get an "AMEN"?



*Consider Jairus, and the woman with the bleeding condition, and the man with leprosy, an dthe women who were met on the road by the risen Savior....each of these fell down before Him and worshipped Him,

Two wrongs and a right

i have a vivid memory this morning as i ponder this installment on Martha's story.  i was in the car with Hannah...she was probably in middle school...and i was recounting for her all of my duties and responsibilities for the day.  Without missing a beat (and not meaning to be disrespectful) she responded:  "Don't you ever relax, mom?  Don't you ever get tired of having a list of things to do?"

i wonder if Mary ever asked Martha something similar?

Just to recap my meanderings about her story...

• Martha was distracted.  i feel sure she would have loved to have been sitting with Jesus, savoring His every Word.
• By all of things that had to be done.  i suspect, if she had a "to do" list, hers would trump mine on my busiest day.
• She finally lost it.  Her frustration got the best of her and she reprimanded the Savior.  Wow.
• And Jesus didn't yell at her.  He was more worried about her soul than about her attitude. 

i know it may seem as if i'm dragging this out...but trust me when i say that i'm just getting started :-).  i love this stuff.  i'll move on before too long, but this is too good to pass up.

Looking again as if at a snapshot from Martha's life with Jesus, it's curious to me that He did not chastise Martha for being busy.  Over the years, as i've heard this story in the context of "busy-is-bad", somehow i've assumed that Jesus wanted Martha to stop being busy.  

But Jesus didn't say, 

         "Stop working.  Stop preparing.  Never mind the dinner."  

                  He really didn't even tell Martha what to do.  

                          Am i the only one who thought that was in there somewhere?????

Jesus was a pretty busy man.  Perusing his personal photo album, i'm hard-pressed to find Him relaxing.  His days were filled with meaningful interactions and activity. Check out the snapshots included just on the Matthew 14 page of the scrapbook...exhausting day.  No rest for the weary.  Literally.  

Contrary to my own mis-interpretation, it's not Martha's busy-ness that caused Jesus' gentle reprimand.  His response to her impertinent demand has little to do with her schedule.  Isn't that good news?

And one more erroneous conclusion, while we're at it.  This is a pet peeve....so skip the next few paragraphs if you think i've already beaten a dead horse.  Please notice that Jesus did not say:  "Why can't you be more like Mary?"  Go ahead.  Admit it.  You've looked at this snapshot and assumed that --- even if He didn't say it --- that's what Jesus thought.  (Picture the little bubble above His head with those words...ugh.)  

Jesus never minced words.

        As you flip through the pages of His story, if Jesus had something to say,

              He said it.

                      And He never said:  "Why can't you be more like your sister?"

Jesus did not want Martha to be like Mary.  Jesus wanted Martha to be Martha.  After all, and this is important, He created her.  She was His "work of art"*.  He had designed her, calculated and planned her deliberate creation long before the foundation of the world.  If Jesus wanted Martha to be more like Mary, He would have made her so.  Martha was special and unique (if a bit bossy).  And Jesus liked her that way.

Isn't that intriguing????

This is why i love this snapshot of Martha.  i feel sad that it is so often dismissed, as if it's an embarrassment. We either skip the picture...because we've already seen it...or we look at it with disdain and hope not to be like poor Martha.

But what if we refused to turn the page?  What if we considered this really as one snapshot in the context of a whole album of pictures from Martha's life?  What if we took the time to see what really happened here?

This is not a picture of Jesus chastising Martha for her impertinence.

     It's not a picture of the Savior telling her to stop being busy.

          It's not a picture of Him wishing that Martha was more like Mary.

It's a snapshot of an invitation.  An invitation that Martha could not refuse.   

*check out Ephesians 2:10