My prayer life has been mildly disabled since the death of my mom earlier this year. People are still asking me, "How are you adjusting"? Typically, i respond with some transparency about the still obvious and painful gaps, the sorrow of my new orphan identity, the need to regularly reorient my thinking ("i need to show this picture to mom!...")
What i have not said is "i don't know how to pray anymore".
Seems like a conversation-stopper.
It's such a simple spiritual exercise, and i know I should know better. But i lost my bearings after weeks and weeks of begging the Lord to spare my mom from the very things that He, in fact, did not spare her from.
Don't misunderstand me. Mom's journey with her illness was so much less painful and heartbreaking than we expected. As a family we were profoundly grateful for dozens of months and a myriad of memories that we enjoyed, far beyond her doctor's original diagnosis.
But those last two months were hard.
i've been reminded that we American Christians don't like hard...and we are wired to have our way. But this dilemma of mine has not been about hardship. Or about God's willingness to meet my demands. i fully accept --- and am grateful for --- His sovereignty. i believe wholeheartedly in His love for my Mom and for our family. i know that as we suffered, He suffered with us.
My challenge is: What does godly prayer look like? In light of my theology, how am i to pray...in the midst of crisis, heartache, fear, disappointment...how am i to pray with faith for God's glory? How am i to pray when i am deeply committed to God's sovereignty and His plan? How do i pray when i know God will do what God will do??
Don't get excited. i don't have all the answers...and what i do have, i'm SURE is not new. But this week, God has given me a foothold for Truth that is marinating in my mind and feeding my weak faith.
i've been reading through Luke (slowly, i know) and this week i came to the familiar passages in chapter 11. This text begins with the disciples saying:
"Lord, teach us to pray".
Just those five words made me want to weep! What follows their question is a two-fold response from Jesus that has, literally, breathed life into my worn out soul. These are words that i repeat week after week in worship, and today it is as if i have heard them for the first time. Phew.
i'm so anxious that these words, the words of Jesus, resonate with readers that i will wait to write more until tomorrow...in the meantime, and before reading the next post, i want to encourage you to read them for yourself. Pick up the Scripture and read Luke 11:1-13. If this is your struggle, let the words of the Savior seep into your heart and mind.
How have we missed this???
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Sunday, June 8, 2014
On Being Clay
“The Lord will fulfill
His purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.” Psalm 138:8
The LORD. The title used here is “Jehovah”. It means “the unchanging, eternal, self-existent God”, the “I am that I am”, the Covenant-Keeper. This is God who has all authority, wisdom and power. The One who keeps all of His promises.
But it is HIS purpose. Emphasis on HIS. The promise is that He
will fulfill HIS purpose. Not MY purpose
for me. Or, for today, MY purpose for anyone
else. And sometimes that means He puts them in the boat headed for raging wind and pounding waves.* This Truth puts me gently in my
place. It is the prophets’ “potter and
clay” principle:
And for those that i love.
"On the day I called, you answered me;
my strength of soul you increased."
Strength of soul.
For bruised lives.
For wounded hearts.
For fearful adventurers.
For me, powerless to help, as i wait and watch and hope. Strength of soul. i need that today.
Amen.
*a truth from my last post that is still ringing in my ears
i love this verse. It
is a text that i return to with some regularity because it so succinctly
captures the nature of God and His resolute commitment to His people. Today, this little verse, and those that
surround it in context, has once again righted my thinking and helped me to
pray.
On my mind today is not my own story, but the story lines of
others that i love. When our children
were small, their little lives were marked by scrapes and bruises, broken toys
and hurt feelings but we were mostly able to fix their stuff, brush off their
wounds and move on to the next adventure.
Things aren’t so easy to mend anymore and people’s lives are full of insurmountable
hardship.
At least it seems so.
i find myself wondering why God allows His children to
struggle,
to be lonely,
to have disappointment,
to be fearful for the
future.
i want to help, but i am
powerless for some and feeble, ineffective for others. i can’t put a Band-Aid on their bruises and
what’s broken is mostly not fixable.
Today, that’s been hard. i have
been brooding for most of the day.
Gratefully, from somewhere in my soul the Spirit gently and
faithfully instructed my mind with Psalm 138.
These verses have resonated with Truth in my own life, but today the
rich theology gives me perspective as i think and pray for brothers and
sisters…beloved strugglers.
While there
is much that i don’t know, here’s
what i hang on to:
The LORD. The title used here is “Jehovah”. It means “the unchanging, eternal, self-existent God”, the “I am that I am”, the Covenant-Keeper. This is God who has all authority, wisdom and power. The One who keeps all of His promises.
He will fulfill….not
“may”, not “could”, not even “should” fulfill.
He will fulfill. Is there any doubt about His intent?
He will fulfill His
purpose for me. This is critical
to my thinking. It gives me hope and a
deep sense of security. He has a purpose
for me (and for each of His children).
Seriously. Just this Truth
settles my worry-ridden heart. He. Has.
A. Purpose. For. Me.
“But now, O LORD, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our
potter…” (Isaiah 64:8)
“Like the clay in the
potter’s hand, so are you in my hand…” declares the Lord. (Jeremiah 18:6)
The Potter fashions the clay,
breaks it down
and fashions it again to form it for HIS OWN PURPOSE.
The clay is…well, just clay.
The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me. And for those that i love. HE is the LORD. There is a certainty to His plan and a commitment
to His purpose. He will do it. He has a purpose for each of His children and
it is His purpose that will come to pass.
Nothing can or will deter such purpose.
"Your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever." The Psalmist ends by recalling the deep well of affection
from which the Lord’s purpose is drawn --- a steadfast love that began before
time and one which has no end. With such
love and commitment, why do i worry? Who
goes about brooding with knowledge like that?
The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me.
The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me.
i can’t fix what’s broken or heal what
hurts, but i’m shamelessly clinging to that promise this evening. It’s the healthy dose of Truth that i needed…and
i am forever grateful that the Spirit never tires of reminding me.
How will i pray for my beloved strugglers? The psalmist offers a promise and a prayer in verse 3:
How will i pray for my beloved strugglers? The psalmist offers a promise and a prayer in verse 3:
"On the day I called, you answered me;
my strength of soul you increased."
Strength of soul.
For bruised lives.
For wounded hearts.
For fearful adventurers.
For me, powerless to help, as i wait and watch and hope. Strength of soul. i need that today.
Amen.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
My Sinking Ship
It has been over a year since i posted on this blog. A lot has changed during these months, but that's not exactly why i've been silent. Honestly, i have been having a running internal dialog about the plethora of words that are crowding up the universe. Sometimes i ask myself "why do these people think anyone cares about what they have to say"? A question followed by the intriguing reality that people do care, which then begs the question: "why??" Just how many opinions, ideas, thoughts, reflections, and stories can one human brain filter in a lifetime?
i have a friend who is a journalist.
She writes important stuff.
Her writing informs my mind.
And my prayer life. As i contemplate what's happening in the world.
But i think she's unique.
What, then, do i have to offer? Why am i back?
i'm back mostly for myself. This writing is good discipline and the submission of it to review by (potentially) virtual strangers forces me to more carefully construct sentences and paragraphs so that i can be reasonably certain that i am not misunderstood. It also gives me the opportunity to work out my own thinking and reasoning as i read, and study, and walk with God...proclaiming His might to another generation.*
So here's to jumbling up the virtual sky with one more thought.
i'm clear this is in the "for what it's worth" category :-)
This morning, in the quiet of my car in the parking lot of Starbucks, i read Luke 8:22-24. i'm reading through the Bible (theoretically) --- NT in the morning & OT in the evening. i had a plan to get through in a year, but by the second week of January i was already behind. So i'm just plodding through at my own very slow pace.
So Luke 8:22-24. One day he got into a boat with his disciples, and he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side of the lake.” So they set out, and as they sailed he fell asleep. And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water and were in danger. And they went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!” And he awoke and rebuked the wind and the raging waves, and they ceased, and there was a calm. He said to them, “Where is your faith?” And they were afraid, and they marveled, saying to one another, “Who then is this, that he commands even winds and water, and they obey him?”
Having read those verses hundreds of times, i was tempted to keep going. But the Holy Spirit prompted me to stop. Read again. Which i did.
i was in a pretty difficult spot this morning. Without going into the details, suffice it to say that i was (am) discouraged. And more than a little weary. But here's what the Spirit inscribed on my soul this morning:
Jesus put His friends into a boat that He knew was headed for danger.
Then He got in with them.
Stew on that for just a few minutes. Or for the whole day.
Jesus knew there was going to be a storm. He could have protected His friends, kept them safely distant from the threatening wind and waves. Instead, He put them in the boat.
Truth: Danger...hardship...disappointment...pain...wind & raging waves ARE PART OF GOD'S SOVEREIGN PLAN for my life. He is not only not surprised, He orchestrates these circumstances for my good because He loves me. Selah. (That's a psalm word that means: stop & think)
Jesus could have put those faithless friends into the doomed dingy and left them to fend for themselves, to discover their faith-deficit on their own. Instead, He got into the boat.
Truth: In the midst of those terrifying, heartbreaking, tear-stained hours (and days and weeks and months) HE IS WITH ME. This is an Immanuel moment: God with us. When my boat is filling with water, He is right there with me. Selah.
The end of the story is pretty powerful, as Jesus demonstrates His absolute authority over all of nature. And i needed that part too. The reminder that every single aspect of all of human nature and creation is at His command. It is this truth that undergirds all of the others: the wind, the sea, the ship, the disciples, these all belong to Him. Ultimately, He can (and will) do what He chooses.
Nothing has changed...i am aware that my ship might still sink. But there is a quiet sense of calm in my soul that God has ordained even this, and that i am not alone. He's my shipmate.
What's a few hundred words taking up space to say THAT?
*Psalm 71:18
i have a friend who is a journalist.
She writes important stuff.
Her writing informs my mind.
And my prayer life. As i contemplate what's happening in the world.
But i think she's unique.
What, then, do i have to offer? Why am i back?
i'm back mostly for myself. This writing is good discipline and the submission of it to review by (potentially) virtual strangers forces me to more carefully construct sentences and paragraphs so that i can be reasonably certain that i am not misunderstood. It also gives me the opportunity to work out my own thinking and reasoning as i read, and study, and walk with God...proclaiming His might to another generation.*
So here's to jumbling up the virtual sky with one more thought.
i'm clear this is in the "for what it's worth" category :-)
This morning, in the quiet of my car in the parking lot of Starbucks, i read Luke 8:22-24. i'm reading through the Bible (theoretically) --- NT in the morning & OT in the evening. i had a plan to get through in a year, but by the second week of January i was already behind. So i'm just plodding through at my own very slow pace.
So Luke 8:22-24. One day he got into a boat with his disciples, and he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side of the lake.” So they set out, and as they sailed he fell asleep. And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water and were in danger. And they went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!” And he awoke and rebuked the wind and the raging waves, and they ceased, and there was a calm. He said to them, “Where is your faith?” And they were afraid, and they marveled, saying to one another, “Who then is this, that he commands even winds and water, and they obey him?”
Having read those verses hundreds of times, i was tempted to keep going. But the Holy Spirit prompted me to stop. Read again. Which i did.
i was in a pretty difficult spot this morning. Without going into the details, suffice it to say that i was (am) discouraged. And more than a little weary. But here's what the Spirit inscribed on my soul this morning:
Jesus put His friends into a boat that He knew was headed for danger.
Then He got in with them.
Stew on that for just a few minutes. Or for the whole day.
Jesus knew there was going to be a storm. He could have protected His friends, kept them safely distant from the threatening wind and waves. Instead, He put them in the boat.
Truth: Danger...hardship...disappointment...pain...wind & raging waves ARE PART OF GOD'S SOVEREIGN PLAN for my life. He is not only not surprised, He orchestrates these circumstances for my good because He loves me. Selah. (That's a psalm word that means: stop & think)
Jesus could have put those faithless friends into the doomed dingy and left them to fend for themselves, to discover their faith-deficit on their own. Instead, He got into the boat.
Truth: In the midst of those terrifying, heartbreaking, tear-stained hours (and days and weeks and months) HE IS WITH ME. This is an Immanuel moment: God with us. When my boat is filling with water, He is right there with me. Selah.
The end of the story is pretty powerful, as Jesus demonstrates His absolute authority over all of nature. And i needed that part too. The reminder that every single aspect of all of human nature and creation is at His command. It is this truth that undergirds all of the others: the wind, the sea, the ship, the disciples, these all belong to Him. Ultimately, He can (and will) do what He chooses.
Nothing has changed...i am aware that my ship might still sink. But there is a quiet sense of calm in my soul that God has ordained even this, and that i am not alone. He's my shipmate.
What's a few hundred words taking up space to say THAT?
*Psalm 71:18
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Unfinished Business
My facebook feed is an interesting indicator of what's on people's minds. i don't contribute much. i rarely update my "status", and it doesn't often reflect what i'm thinking --- more likely it boasts about where i'm eating. But i have become a student of what my "friends" think...and what their friends think as i read the thread of "comments". And it often causes me to think about what i think.
Over the past week, as the red equal sign popped up in the Human Rights Campaign effort to "paint the town red" in support of gay marriage, i have been thinking about what i think. i have thoughts that are intensely personal, based on my own experience and history. i have thoughts that some people would qualify as narrow, discriminatory...unAmerican.
Which is worrisome to me.
But as i've thought about this potentially volatile, certainly divisive issue, i keep going back to Scripture. It's my sure foundation. My anchor. While there are many things that i am unsure of, this is something that i know: the holy Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments are the inspired Word of God, 'the only infallible rule of faith and practice,' and the Bible alone is sufficient to inform my thinking. About anything.
And so i read and re-read Genesis 1-3.
The account of creation in Genesis 1 reverberates with this phrase: it was good. In fact, the chapter closes with the superlative: it was very good. In Genesis 2 Moses goes back and adds detail to the account of God's creation of humanity, the climax of creation. These verses offer an interesting and important glimpse into the heart and mind of the Creator as He formed man from the dust of the ground and placed him into a perfect garden home. The text is rich with so many significant features, but i want to pause in the middle of the chapter.
Verse 18 of chapter two indicates that God's plan is not yet finished. "Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone." Hmmmm....
So God sends the animals. One by one God "brought them to the man" and Adam had the privilege of naming each one. This scene has become so familiar that i think we miss the wonder of the moment. Can you imagine what Adam was thinking as each creature, from the spider to the giraffe paraded past him? It makes me smile.
But something is missing. You have to wonder if Adam is not looking at each of these creatures and noticing that there are more than one. Every creature is part of a "pack", or a "school" or a "colony", or a "gaggle". (Seriously. That's many geese in one group. It's a gaggle.) Many lions. Many mooose. Many ants.
One Adam.
It's not like he didn't notice. Verse 20: "But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him." Sad.
Unfinished business. Something is missing, and God intended for Adam to notice.
What happens next is profound as i ponder the red equal sign.
God put the man to sleep.
Took out his rib.
Closed up the wound.
"And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man..."
And the rest is, literally, history.
It was not good for man to be alone....
Equality not withstanding,
God's answer to Adam's "aloneness" was not another man.
What Adam needed was Eve. A woman.
i'm so struck by that this week. It's a nuance that is easily dismissed, but it's one that is of paramount importance to my thinking today. When Adam was alone, God gave him Eve. i know it's not popular, but this sure foundation is clear for me. As i submit my thinking to this text and to Scripture in its entirety, this is the framework for my understanding of the issue of marriage.
When Adam was alone and it was not good, God gave him Eve.
He did not offer Adam a choice.
And Adam, when he recovered from his deep sleep, was ecstatic.
i'm sure it's probably over-simplified.
And i'm afraid it is narrow.
And maybe un-American. i hope not.
But with Scripture alone as my rule of faith and practice, it's what i know to be true. One man. One woman. And it was very good.
i know. i'm repeating myself. It just seems really important.
What's my status?
Grateful for the Gospel.
We don't live in the garden anymore.
Sigh.
p.s. this "it was not good for man to be alone" theology has ramifications that weave their way through layers of my life. It is enough to form the framework for a book that i'm toying with. This content, therefore, is "proprietary" to that work... just FYI
Over the past week, as the red equal sign popped up in the Human Rights Campaign effort to "paint the town red" in support of gay marriage, i have been thinking about what i think. i have thoughts that are intensely personal, based on my own experience and history. i have thoughts that some people would qualify as narrow, discriminatory...unAmerican.
Which is worrisome to me.
But as i've thought about this potentially volatile, certainly divisive issue, i keep going back to Scripture. It's my sure foundation. My anchor. While there are many things that i am unsure of, this is something that i know: the holy Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments are the inspired Word of God, 'the only infallible rule of faith and practice,' and the Bible alone is sufficient to inform my thinking. About anything.
And so i read and re-read Genesis 1-3.
The account of creation in Genesis 1 reverberates with this phrase: it was good. In fact, the chapter closes with the superlative: it was very good. In Genesis 2 Moses goes back and adds detail to the account of God's creation of humanity, the climax of creation. These verses offer an interesting and important glimpse into the heart and mind of the Creator as He formed man from the dust of the ground and placed him into a perfect garden home. The text is rich with so many significant features, but i want to pause in the middle of the chapter.
Verse 18 of chapter two indicates that God's plan is not yet finished. "Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone." Hmmmm....
So God sends the animals. One by one God "brought them to the man" and Adam had the privilege of naming each one. This scene has become so familiar that i think we miss the wonder of the moment. Can you imagine what Adam was thinking as each creature, from the spider to the giraffe paraded past him? It makes me smile.
But something is missing. You have to wonder if Adam is not looking at each of these creatures and noticing that there are more than one. Every creature is part of a "pack", or a "school" or a "colony", or a "gaggle". (Seriously. That's many geese in one group. It's a gaggle.) Many lions. Many mooose. Many ants.
One Adam.
It's not like he didn't notice. Verse 20: "But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him." Sad.
Unfinished business. Something is missing, and God intended for Adam to notice.
What happens next is profound as i ponder the red equal sign.
God put the man to sleep.
Took out his rib.
Closed up the wound.
"And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man..."
And the rest is, literally, history.
It was not good for man to be alone....
Equality not withstanding,
God's answer to Adam's "aloneness" was not another man.
What Adam needed was Eve. A woman.
i'm so struck by that this week. It's a nuance that is easily dismissed, but it's one that is of paramount importance to my thinking today. When Adam was alone, God gave him Eve. i know it's not popular, but this sure foundation is clear for me. As i submit my thinking to this text and to Scripture in its entirety, this is the framework for my understanding of the issue of marriage.
When Adam was alone and it was not good, God gave him Eve.
He did not offer Adam a choice.
And Adam, when he recovered from his deep sleep, was ecstatic.
i'm sure it's probably over-simplified.
And i'm afraid it is narrow.
And maybe un-American. i hope not.
But with Scripture alone as my rule of faith and practice, it's what i know to be true. One man. One woman. And it was very good.
i know. i'm repeating myself. It just seems really important.
What's my status?
Grateful for the Gospel.
We don't live in the garden anymore.
Sigh.
p.s. this "it was not good for man to be alone" theology has ramifications that weave their way through layers of my life. It is enough to form the framework for a book that i'm toying with. This content, therefore, is "proprietary" to that work... just FYI
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Well-placed words
We've been studying Proverbs. Today, i taught a difficult lesson about sexual sin and marriage. The first seven chapters of the book of Proverbs reverberate with this message from father to son: stay away from the immoral woman. As a woman, it's tempting to dismiss that text with a sigh of relief. Phew. That has nothing to do with me.
Not true. Sadly.
Not that i'm admitting to such immorality in my own private life. Let's not start any rumors.
But the truth of the matter is that there is a feminine side of that warning. If Solomon harped on Rehoboam about steering clear of certain kinds of women, it seems that there is a message to the sisters to be warned about becoming that kind of woman. Now there's a message that'll make a girl popular!
And, on another note, there is merit to asking ourselves: who is she? What motivates her and how did she become a woman described as "forbidden", an adultress, a seductress? Surely no one sets out with such aspirations of low living....
It won't be popular, but there is so much important stuff here that it seemed "blog worthy". So here goes.
Solomon repeatedly remarks on the speech of the woman Rehoboam was to avoid.
2.16 and 7.5 speak of her smooth words.
5.3 warns of her words that drip honey.
6.24 describes her as having a smooth tongue.
7.14-20, 21 provides graphic illustration of her seductive speech and smooth talk that is almost embarrassing to read out loud.
It is interesting that the King warns his son more about what this woman says than about what she does. It makes you think that Solomon knew the power of a well-placed, well-seasoned word. Hers were full of flattery and seduction. She knew how to appeal to his desire and his need...and she played to those weaknesses.
Well-placed words with grave and disastrous potential for destruction.
Why? What might have been her motivation? We'll come back to this in another conversation, but it is enough to consider that this young man came along "ripe-for-the-picking" (my Grandmother's saying) to satisfy her desires.
She had her own craving.
Her own need.
And she would use him to fill the void in her own life.
He became the object of her obssession to meet her need.
Sound familiar? Maybe not to such an extreme and perhaps in a less public, more respectable way...
but i do this.
i see people as a means to meet my own need...
and i do what i must to draw them in.
i have done it with my children.
i have done it with my siblings.
and my husband.
and my co-workers.
and my friends.
i am the adulterous woman.
My agenda is my own pleasure.
My own passion.
My own comfort.
i have more to say, but that's all i can take today.
i am clinging to this verse from John 7. "Her sins, which are many, are forgiven."
Not true. Sadly.
Not that i'm admitting to such immorality in my own private life. Let's not start any rumors.
But the truth of the matter is that there is a feminine side of that warning. If Solomon harped on Rehoboam about steering clear of certain kinds of women, it seems that there is a message to the sisters to be warned about becoming that kind of woman. Now there's a message that'll make a girl popular!
And, on another note, there is merit to asking ourselves: who is she? What motivates her and how did she become a woman described as "forbidden", an adultress, a seductress? Surely no one sets out with such aspirations of low living....
It won't be popular, but there is so much important stuff here that it seemed "blog worthy". So here goes.
Solomon repeatedly remarks on the speech of the woman Rehoboam was to avoid.
2.16 and 7.5 speak of her smooth words.
5.3 warns of her words that drip honey.
6.24 describes her as having a smooth tongue.
7.14-20, 21 provides graphic illustration of her seductive speech and smooth talk that is almost embarrassing to read out loud.
It is interesting that the King warns his son more about what this woman says than about what she does. It makes you think that Solomon knew the power of a well-placed, well-seasoned word. Hers were full of flattery and seduction. She knew how to appeal to his desire and his need...and she played to those weaknesses.
Well-placed words with grave and disastrous potential for destruction.
Why? What might have been her motivation? We'll come back to this in another conversation, but it is enough to consider that this young man came along "ripe-for-the-picking" (my Grandmother's saying) to satisfy her desires.
She had her own craving.
Her own need.
And she would use him to fill the void in her own life.
He became the object of her obssession to meet her need.
Sound familiar? Maybe not to such an extreme and perhaps in a less public, more respectable way...
but i do this.
i see people as a means to meet my own need...
and i do what i must to draw them in.
i have done it with my children.
i have done it with my siblings.
and my husband.
and my co-workers.
and my friends.
i am the adulterous woman.
My agenda is my own pleasure.
My own passion.
My own comfort.
i have more to say, but that's all i can take today.
i am clinging to this verse from John 7. "Her sins, which are many, are forgiven."
Sunday, March 3, 2013
What happens when you are awake at 3 a.m.
i have had this phrase in my mind for two days: "Worship is more than a song". It's the refrain of Jimmy Needham's "Clear the Stage", a song primarily about repentance and the constant battle against idolatry. i am awake at 3 a.m. with the lyric repeating like a skip on an old vinyl album. And i've thought enough about it that i've stumbled on a more subtle, perhaps less purposed truth: worship is more than a song.
i know. it's profound.
Sarcasm aside, i am thinking that this is one of those seriously important truths that has eluded a generation of Christ-followers. Worship is more than a song.
Think about how we define "worship" in our spiritual vocabulary. If i were to poll ten people, i suspect i would get ten versions of: "It's what we do when we go to church". At least to a degree, that seems reasonable. i mean, in just a few hours (yawn), Chas and i will go to worship. i've used that language for years. Which is fine. Scripture uses it this way, too.
As an example, repeatedly in the Exodus story, God (through Moses) appeals to Pharaoh to "Let my people go so that they may worship me". It seems He was making a way for the Israelites to worship Him specifically in a designated place (3:12, 7:16) --- which was not possible in Egypt.
But my wee-hours-of-the-morning mind wonders if God wanted more for His people than a locale for a special service. Could it be that God's demand from Pharaoh was about giving His people space to live as the people of God? Perhaps His desire "that they may worship me" was not just the provision of a service ("worship service"), but of a way of life.
Worship is more than a song.
i know this is not new news. Paul's words from Romans 12 are at least familiar to almost every Christian: we are to "offer our bodies as a living sacrifice...a spiritual act of worship". i have heard many sermons and have taught this truth myself. Worship is a way of life.
But i'm not sure we've gotten it. Our theology may be solid, but our practical theology --- the way we actually live --- is woefully disconnected. i think we still think worship is a song. A service. A sermon.
Honestly, language fails me here. i am not sure i can articulate the weight of what i am thinking, but i am overwhelmed by the reality of what worship really is.
Worship is choosing Christ above all else.
Worship is the sacrifice of my own desire. Always.
Worship is the setting aside of my own agenda. Always.
Worship is thinking of others more than i think of myself.
Worship is making a difficult choice that pleases God...even if it's costly.
Worship is risking the disappointment of people rather than disobeying God.
Worship is not making too much of myself.
Worship is having hard conversations for the benefit of the hearer.
Worship is honoring authority.
Worship is giving my money away.
Worship is not watching trash tv.
Worship is asking for forgiveness.
Worship ought to be like breathing. It is the thinking about God, pursuing the heart of God, leaning into the will of God all the time.
Worship is more than a song.
Now that i think about it, i'm fairly certain that this is exactly what Needham meant. It's not really subtle at all...i'm just slow. His call to "clear the stage" is an impassioned plea for me to beg the Lord to reveal the stuff that gets in the way of all of the above. i will not be a worshipper --- in the fullest sense of the word --- until i ask God to "crush the idols".
Comfort.
Desire.
Respect.
Affection.
Ease.
Stuff.
"Peace."
Clear the stage. Worship is more than a song.
This is what happens when you are awake at 3 a.m. Sigh.
p.s. if i was at all tech savvy, i would attach a link to Jimmy Needham's "Clear the Stage". i'm not. But you should listen. Be prepared to be undone. It's stunning.
i know. it's profound.
Sarcasm aside, i am thinking that this is one of those seriously important truths that has eluded a generation of Christ-followers. Worship is more than a song.
Think about how we define "worship" in our spiritual vocabulary. If i were to poll ten people, i suspect i would get ten versions of: "It's what we do when we go to church". At least to a degree, that seems reasonable. i mean, in just a few hours (yawn), Chas and i will go to worship. i've used that language for years. Which is fine. Scripture uses it this way, too.
As an example, repeatedly in the Exodus story, God (through Moses) appeals to Pharaoh to "Let my people go so that they may worship me". It seems He was making a way for the Israelites to worship Him specifically in a designated place (3:12, 7:16) --- which was not possible in Egypt.
But my wee-hours-of-the-morning mind wonders if God wanted more for His people than a locale for a special service. Could it be that God's demand from Pharaoh was about giving His people space to live as the people of God? Perhaps His desire "that they may worship me" was not just the provision of a service ("worship service"), but of a way of life.
Worship is more than a song.
i know this is not new news. Paul's words from Romans 12 are at least familiar to almost every Christian: we are to "offer our bodies as a living sacrifice...a spiritual act of worship". i have heard many sermons and have taught this truth myself. Worship is a way of life.
But i'm not sure we've gotten it. Our theology may be solid, but our practical theology --- the way we actually live --- is woefully disconnected. i think we still think worship is a song. A service. A sermon.
Honestly, language fails me here. i am not sure i can articulate the weight of what i am thinking, but i am overwhelmed by the reality of what worship really is.
Worship is choosing Christ above all else.
Worship is the sacrifice of my own desire. Always.
Worship is the setting aside of my own agenda. Always.
Worship is thinking of others more than i think of myself.
Worship is making a difficult choice that pleases God...even if it's costly.
Worship is risking the disappointment of people rather than disobeying God.
Worship is not making too much of myself.
Worship is having hard conversations for the benefit of the hearer.
Worship is honoring authority.
Worship is giving my money away.
Worship is not watching trash tv.
Worship is asking for forgiveness.
Worship ought to be like breathing. It is the thinking about God, pursuing the heart of God, leaning into the will of God all the time.
Worship is more than a song.
Now that i think about it, i'm fairly certain that this is exactly what Needham meant. It's not really subtle at all...i'm just slow. His call to "clear the stage" is an impassioned plea for me to beg the Lord to reveal the stuff that gets in the way of all of the above. i will not be a worshipper --- in the fullest sense of the word --- until i ask God to "crush the idols".
Comfort.
Desire.
Respect.
Affection.
Ease.
Stuff.
"Peace."
Clear the stage. Worship is more than a song.
This is what happens when you are awake at 3 a.m. Sigh.
p.s. if i was at all tech savvy, i would attach a link to Jimmy Needham's "Clear the Stage". i'm not. But you should listen. Be prepared to be undone. It's stunning.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Hanging mammals and cupcakes
So i taught Bible study last week. The text was Proverbs 26, and the main character was the sluggard. The KJV calls the "sluggard" the "sloth", or "slothful man". Have you seen a sloth lately? Wow. Did Solomon hit the nail on the head with the poetic imagery here. The definition for sloth goes something like this: aversion to work or exertion; laziness; indolence.
So i talked about slothful relationships. Slothful personal habits. A slothful walk with God.
Then i ate two cupcakes. And hit my snooze button two times the next morning, effectively avoiding both my run and my time with the Lord. Impressive.
i am realizing that "comfort" is my idol. The comfort of my warm bed. The comfort of a peppermint mocha with whipped cream. The comfort of easy friendship. The comfort of familiar worship.
It seems the sloth and i are not so different. Ugh.
i do not like to get up early. So i sleep in.
i do not like to have hard conversatons. So i "fake peace" (to quote Tara Barthel)
i do not like to miss out on a tasty treat. So i have a cupcake. Or two.
i do not like to take awkward initiative. So i turn down an aisle in the store rather than meet you face-to-face.
i do not like to talk on the phone. So i procrastinate on returning calls.
i do not like to pray day after day for the very same thing. So i don't.
i do not like to dig deep and think. So i read what someone else has said.
Ridiculous, i know.
The sloth moves slowly, and only when necessary.
He will often die rather than search for a new food source.
He sleeps 12-15 hours a day and spends 90% of his life hanging upside down.
The parallels are painful.
i have spent years perfecting the art of "avoiding hardship" so that no one knows i'm doing it. Most people who know me have no idea that i am a sloth. But this is the hidden motive of my heart: aversion to work or exertion. In other words? Ease. And it's enemy? "Hard". i hate hard.
In his devotional My Utmost for His Highest, on the date July 7, Oswald Chambers has said: “If we are going to live as disciples of Jesus, we have to remember that all noble things are difficult. The Christian life is gloriously difficult, but the difficulty does not make us faint and cave in, it rouses us up to overcome.”
i'm ashamed to admit how often i "faint and cave". Which, i guess, calls my nobility into question. No surprise there.
As i think about the week ahead, the desire of my heart before the Lord is that i would "rouse up" more consistently. That i would resist the temptation to hang upside down, asleep and unmoving, However comfortable that may seem, i know that its end result is a bad perspective (upside down, get it?), a worthless life, and algae growing in my hair (that really happens to the sloth).
Scripture repeatedly calls us to hard things, and to work. The idea that we would be working people was woven into our DNA at the time of creation (Genesis 2). God, the Creator and Sustainer of all things, works (Genesis 1). Jesus worked in the name of His Father, and on our behalf (John 4, 17)... when He broke into a sweat in the garden, it was not the salty sweat of physical labor but the bloody sweat of emotional and spiritual exertion that would eventually cost Him his life (Luke 22). The Apostle Paul spoke most strongly about work throughout his ministry, the harshest indictment found in 2 Thessalonians 3:10 "If anyone is not willing to work, let Him not eat."
Clearly, ease is not an option offered the Christ-follower. i know this in my mind. My slothful will must be diligently disciplined. Sigh.
All that said, if you see me this week, check for algae. My hairdresser will thank you. And if i happen to have a cupcake in hand, tackle me and retrieve it. Nothing says "faint and cave" like a fresh cupcake with lots of icing.
So i talked about slothful relationships. Slothful personal habits. A slothful walk with God.Then i ate two cupcakes. And hit my snooze button two times the next morning, effectively avoiding both my run and my time with the Lord. Impressive.
i am realizing that "comfort" is my idol. The comfort of my warm bed. The comfort of a peppermint mocha with whipped cream. The comfort of easy friendship. The comfort of familiar worship.
It seems the sloth and i are not so different. Ugh.
i do not like to get up early. So i sleep in.
i do not like to have hard conversatons. So i "fake peace" (to quote Tara Barthel)
i do not like to miss out on a tasty treat. So i have a cupcake. Or two.
i do not like to take awkward initiative. So i turn down an aisle in the store rather than meet you face-to-face.
i do not like to talk on the phone. So i procrastinate on returning calls.
i do not like to pray day after day for the very same thing. So i don't.
i do not like to dig deep and think. So i read what someone else has said.
Ridiculous, i know.
The sloth moves slowly, and only when necessary.
He will often die rather than search for a new food source.
He sleeps 12-15 hours a day and spends 90% of his life hanging upside down.
The parallels are painful.
i have spent years perfecting the art of "avoiding hardship" so that no one knows i'm doing it. Most people who know me have no idea that i am a sloth. But this is the hidden motive of my heart: aversion to work or exertion. In other words? Ease. And it's enemy? "Hard". i hate hard.
In his devotional My Utmost for His Highest, on the date July 7, Oswald Chambers has said: “If we are going to live as disciples of Jesus, we have to remember that all noble things are difficult. The Christian life is gloriously difficult, but the difficulty does not make us faint and cave in, it rouses us up to overcome.”
i'm ashamed to admit how often i "faint and cave". Which, i guess, calls my nobility into question. No surprise there.
As i think about the week ahead, the desire of my heart before the Lord is that i would "rouse up" more consistently. That i would resist the temptation to hang upside down, asleep and unmoving, However comfortable that may seem, i know that its end result is a bad perspective (upside down, get it?), a worthless life, and algae growing in my hair (that really happens to the sloth).
Scripture repeatedly calls us to hard things, and to work. The idea that we would be working people was woven into our DNA at the time of creation (Genesis 2). God, the Creator and Sustainer of all things, works (Genesis 1). Jesus worked in the name of His Father, and on our behalf (John 4, 17)... when He broke into a sweat in the garden, it was not the salty sweat of physical labor but the bloody sweat of emotional and spiritual exertion that would eventually cost Him his life (Luke 22). The Apostle Paul spoke most strongly about work throughout his ministry, the harshest indictment found in 2 Thessalonians 3:10 "If anyone is not willing to work, let Him not eat."
Clearly, ease is not an option offered the Christ-follower. i know this in my mind. My slothful will must be diligently disciplined. Sigh.
All that said, if you see me this week, check for algae. My hairdresser will thank you. And if i happen to have a cupcake in hand, tackle me and retrieve it. Nothing says "faint and cave" like a fresh cupcake with lots of icing.
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