So, now you know the
not-so-lovely side of me*. My struggle
--- just what exactly is godly womanhood
and what does that look like for me? – has been costly. To me, personally. To my gracious and patient husband. To our kids and, to some degree, their
spouses.
But the issue of disdain for
men, of prideful independence, of haughty condescension is not a singularly
personal matter. I have read dozens of books on the subject of what it means to
be a godly woman, and while I’ve learned a great deal, I’ve been surprised by
the disregard of many Christian authors for their husbands and brothers --- for
the male species in general. One such
book came across my desk recently and within the first twenty pages I had
highlighted four sarcastic, condescending (presumably funny?) quips about the
laziness, stupidity, and general “cluelessness” of men. I did not finish the
book.
Just a cursory glance at Facebook offers
plenty of examples of women who are quick to mock and/or criticize their
husbands. Status remarks like: “I sent Mike[1]
to the store for whipping cream and he actually came home with Cool Whip.
This is why it is easier to do everything ourselves.” Followed by these comments: “Actually, I think that’s why they do
it. So we will stop asking them to do
things”, and “The truth is that I doubt they know the difference. So why bother.” Ugh.
One episode of “Everybody Loves
Raymond” reveals its title as a misnomer.
Ray, whom “everybody loves,” is repeatedly typecast as an unthinking,
unfeeling, disengaged, television-watching, sports-loving mama’s boy. Deborah, his wife, is smarter, kinder, more
savvy and productive. She corrects him,
condescends to him, and dismisses him in
every episode. If Deborah’s relationship
with Ray is “love,” it’s no wonder this generation is slow to marry.
These examples are not meant to
cast dispersion on the “world out there”.
To quote Susan Hunt in her book The True Woman, “I don’t mean to
stand in judgment of others. What is so
terrifying is that too often this is my voice.”[2]
Deborah’s disdain for Ray too often mirrors my own – for my husband, my
brothers, our pastors, for men in general.
Unfortunately, however, the
voice that emanates from my wicked heart has an echo that reverberates
throughout our culture in ways that are far more worrisome than snide facebook
commentary or sarcastic sitcom humor. And
while it’s easy to spot the dramatic consequences of our collective gender
rebellion – such as the recent decision of our Supreme Court to legalize
same-sex marriage - the more subtle but equally disastrous effects can be seen
in our judicial, economic, educational, and even our healthcare systems.
The ramification of my own
failure and disdain as a woman for the men in my life is not strictly "personal". It echoes the moral sin of our
nation -- sin whose influence has had dramatic impact on almost every area of our lives.
If you are skeptical, take this
challenge: watch one hour of news (local
or “world”), or read a popular magazine, see what’s trending on twitter, or
watch one hour of primetime television.
Ask yourself: how has the demand
for gender equality and uniformity influenced what I am reading/watching?
Do you hear the echo...echo...echo...?
*
NOTE: This is the second installment in
a series
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