Happy Birthday, Daddy

Tomorrow (well, almost today) would have been my Dad's birthday.  He was born 75 years ago.  He went to live with Jesus in November, 2001. 

i'm not sure a day has gone by since then that i haven't thought about him....wondered what his life is like.  i know that this world pales in comparison, but i can't help thinking sometimes that he would have loved this life for a little while longer.  He would have been so proud of my son...and so grateful for Ashley.  At Hannah & Dave's wedding, he would surely have embarrassed his first-born grandchild with his superlative-laden approval --- insisting that she was "the most beautiful bride ever born" :).  And Dave is a man after Daddy's own heart.  Sigh.

i've been thinking today that there are alot of things that i don't understand about this life. 

i really don't understand why the Lord heals some people and withholds His healing from others.
       i don't understand His "prospering" of one population, while another starves.
             i don't understand the mercy of the Lord extended to people who deny Him.
                        Even more so, people who claim to know Him yet trample on His holiness.

i don't understand broken vows, and broken marriages and broken homes.
       i don't understand how it's possible for children to be illiterate.
             i don't understand the hatred that fuels violence.
                        i don't understand death.  It leaves people lonely.  And empty.

"...when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task, until I went into the sanctuary of God...Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you...."

Psalm 73.  So grateful for "the sanctuary of God"....the actual physical sanctuary.  The Living presence of Almighty God who speaks truth to me in spite of my circumstances and emotion. 

Here's what i know is true...in the context of what i don't understand.

God is faithful and just.
      His love is steadfast.
             His mercies are new every morning.
                   He is good.
                         He is wise.
                             He is perfect.
                                  He loves me with an everlasting love.
                                         He loves my dad.  And my mom.
                                               And my brothers & sisters...
                                        
As i was teaching a workshop last week, i was reminded that people who work with Alzheimer's patients are often called "Memory Loss Assistants"...it's their job to rehearse the names of important people, dates, and significant life moments for their patients to exercise their ability to remember. 

That's what worship was for me today.  A "memory loss assistant".  i needed a reminder.  A much-needed nudge in the direction of the Truth. 
                                 
"...my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever..."

Sometimes you have to cling to what you know is true.  Even if you are hanging on by your fingernails.

Happy Birthday, Daddy. i miss you.
         But i'm confident that God's plan for our family is intact.
               He has not forgotten us.
                 
Thank you, Father, for the reminder.  i needed that.